"Always be a first-rate
version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody
else."
~ Judy Garland
When you meet
someone do you show that you have self-confidence or do you come
across as someone who is not too sure of themselves?
The article
below gives some advice on how to show self-confidence to the outside
world.
Michael
Wilkovesky
Convey Self
Confidence - Gain Respect - by Ian Russell
Has anyone
ever said to you... push your shoulders back, puff your chest out,
get your chin up – if so you have heard a few of the popular
expressions people use to stimulate someone into making a good
impression. These expressions indicate how important our bearing and
body language are in imparting who we are to the world. If you are
fortunate enough to have been brought up in a family with the means
to enrol you in deportment and elocution lessons, these would have
taught you how to carry yourself with elegance and poise thereby
conveying an air of self-confidence to those around you. It is more
likely, however, that the majority of readers, and indeed the writer,
did not reap the benefits of lessons in etiquette. While you don’t
have to speak like Queen Elizabeth to convey confidence, body
language and intonation is important and here is why.
There is a lot
of truth in the old saying that first impressions count. In fact,
within just 5 seconds of meeting someone we will already have formed
a judgement that will affect our behaviour towards them. It
definitely isn’t easy getting ourselves noticed in this hectic
modern world and when this is applied to a job market which is
progressively more competitive, making the right impression can make
or break your chances of having a successful interview or business
deal.
Where to
start? In a moment we will look at what not to do, but firstly let’s
make ourselves aware that self-confidence is a form of strength and
that is why it is so attractive to others. Bearing that in mind, try
to portray yourself in a way that avoids you looking inhibited or
vulnerable. Some examples of this type of body language are: hanging
your head, slouching your shoulders, or avoiding direct eye contact.
These particular actions imply to others that you have a problem with
self-belief. Whether it’s for an interview or a business deal, you
don’t have to be Einstein to see that people won’t believe in you
as an ‘investment’ if the investment does not believe in itself.
Correspondingly, in your personal life people will immediately pick
up on the signals you give. Given that, what should be your plan of
action?
The opposite
of the examples given above should be first on the list - holding
your head high and standing with your shoulders back are both
confident gestures. But the most important signal of them all is eye
contact. Maintaining eye contact while speaking and listening
generates a sense of familiarity, resolve and sincerity between
yourself and the other person. If I told you that a recent survey
asked a group of venture capitalists what they looked for in a
successful pitch and that the top answer mostly came back as eye
contact, would you then take it seriously?
In order to
install it as a natural aspect of your personality you will need to
maintain an air of confidence at all times. This applies in every
situation whether easy or stressful. It is a popular belief that you
see the true measure of someone when the chips are down and in my own
experience I have found that is usually the case. In stressful
situations some people panic and rather than looking for a solution
to the problem in a rational and composed way they will blame others
and look for the easy way out. To be an effective leader who commands
respect from their inferiors you must deal with stress in a positive
and confident manner, if you can’t do this then perhaps being at
the front is not for you. By remaining calm under pressure you are
far more likely to project the right image to others.
What you
display needn’t necessarily be the same as what you feel - even if
your apparent demeanour is not a true reflection of what is going on
inside, you will still convey the appropriate signals to encourage
those around you. That is the remarkable thing about confident body
language. All it takes is a simple gesture to inspire confidence and
respect in those around you.
Source:
If you liked
this article and would like a f.ree video on the power of positive
thinking please visit http://www.theinnermindset.com
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"Someone's opinion of you
does not have to become your reality." ~ Les Brown
If you suffer from low self
esteem, you can deal it a crushing blow.
The article below gives 3 ways to
defeat this negative thought process.
Michael Wilkovesky
Low Self Esteem - 3 Easy Ways to
Crush Low Self Esteem - by Sam Arch
Low self esteem is a devastating
downward spiral of negative thinking. Every negative thought you have
about yourself dents your confidence. That in turn is made obvious to
anyone that meets you and they react to that. This then reaffirms
your perception of yourself as useless and worthless.
The only way to break out of the
black hole of low self esteem is to smash this negative thinking
spiral and replace it with a positive thinking cycle. This is
sometimes referred to as a virtuous circle. Positive thoughts make
you more self confident. People see this and treat you as someone
worthy of their attention. This reaffirms your self belief and so on.
So if the secret to improving
your self esteem is in changing your subconscious thought patterns,
how can you do it? Easy. Build up an arsenal of powerful 'mind
weapons' which you will use every day until they become second nature
to you. Usually within about thirty days.
Here are three quick and easy
'mind weapons' to get you started. Although simple to use, they
become hugely effective when you develop the habit of using them and
they take effect on autopilot.
The first mind weapon is the
fixed positive thought. Your aim is to create one extremely powerful
positive thought about yourself which you will draw upon every time
you feel bad about yourself. To make this powerful, listen to your
favourite happy song with your eyes closed and imagine yourself doing
something you are good at and really enjoy.
Do this exercise every day for a
month until the image is deep in your mind. Every time you feel low,
go and listen to that song and close your eyes if you are in a place
to do so. Over time you can recreate this in your own mind without
having to close your eyes or even listen to the song. It will take
place in your mind.
The second mind weapon is switch
thinking. Imagine walking into a party and someone attractive looks
over at you. Your low self esteem reaction would be to think that
that person thinks you are ugly and boring. Instantly switch that
thought to the exact opposite. Imagine that look means they find you
attractive and they are catching your eye hoping you will come and
talk to them.
Cue your fixed positive thought
and then give a quick smile back and move straight on with purpose to
something else whilst fixing an imagine in your mind that the other
person has smiled back. Giving someone a smile whilst not waiting for
one back shows the other person extreme self confidence and they will
admire you for that. Over time you will feel comfortable with this
and allow yourself to wait for the real smile back which will
ultimately come.
The third mind weapon is critical
thinking. If you are self conscious you will imagine that everyone is
judging you and your actions every second of the day. You are
processing those negative thoughts almost constantly and it is
exhausting and humiliating.
With critical thinking, make snap
decisions on how to process these incoming thoughts. You cannot
prevent these thoughts coming in but you can decide to simply ignore
them. If it is all too much for you simply allow the thoughts, as
they say, to pass in one ear and straight out of the other. Then just
switch to your fixed positive thought.
If you have a bit more confident
with this you can allow the negative thought to be stay long enough
to be processed. In most cases you will recognise that it is an
irrational thought and not worthy of reacting to and let it go.
What about those negative
thoughts that do seem to have some rational truth to them? This is
where you make the biggest leap. You accept that nobody is perfect
and there is absolutely no way you can please everybody all of the
time. Think to yourself "Yeah? And so what..." Honestly,
try it. It is one of the most liberating thoughts you can have.
The key to successfully
dispelling low self esteem and building immense self confidence is to
create your own personal arsenal of these quick and easy mind
weapons. Use each one at least once a day for a month until they
become second nature. A habit or subconscious thought pattern then
happens automatically. You have nothing to lose and everything to
gain if you give them a try.
Source:
Transform your crippling low self
esteem into rock solid self confidence in just thirty days with this
complimentary video at http://SecretMindForce.com
Notice:
Some of the links in
the post above and on this blog site are “affiliate links.” This
means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive
an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or
services we believe will add value to our readers.
This
post or blog site contains Third Party Advertising, using online
behavioral tracking technology. You can learn more about our policies
regarding online behavioral advertising and your choices regarding
such ads here --> Privacy
Policy.
We have not received
any compensation for writing this post. We have no material
connection to the brands, products, or services that we have
mentioned.
“
There can be no failure to
a man who has not lost his courage, his character, his self respect,
or his self-confidence. He is still a King.” - Orison Swett Marden
We all want to have confidence in
ourselves. We like the idea that we can complete things and be more
in control of our future.
The article below talks about 5
myths of self-confidence.
Michael Wilkovesky
5 Myths about Self-Confidence -
by Bosschat
People who have self-confidence
believe in themselves and feel that they are capable of achieving
anything that they want to in life, or dealing with any situation
that they may have to face. They have an aura of self-confidence and
self-assurance, which is apparent to others. People like to spend
time with them; they feel comfortable and secure in their presence.
In contrast, there are many
people who are talented, but who lack self-confidence. These people
are victims of the several myths that surround self-confidence.
Myth One: People are born with
Self-Confidence
Nothing could be further from
truth. Self-confidence, like other skill, can be learnt and built up.
All that you need is the right guidance and a belief in yourself.
Myth Two: Only Good Looking
People are Self-Confident
Some people blame their low
self-confidence to their lack of good looks. They don’t realize
that self-confidence has nothing to do with their looks. The only way
they can overcome this myth is by learning to believe in themselves.
Myth Three: Only Talented People
are Self-Confident
In fact, talent and
self-confidence are not inter-related. There are scores of talented
actors and actresses who do very well in their professions but whose
personal lives are torn by lack of self-confidence. It may sound
contradictory, but this is how life is. Talent can be an important
component of self-confidence, but it is certainly not a substitute
for self-confidence. So, don’t worry about lack of talent. Harness
the skills that you possess.
Myth Four: Self Confidence is
directly proportional to Praise Received
There is little doubt that
recognition and praise make you feel good about yourself, and boost
your self-confidence. But you can’t simply depend on the praise
lavished by others. You have to work hard to earn that praise, and
you can do this only if you are self-confident.
We should look at children.
Children believe in themselves, and this gives them the
self-confidence to try to do things they have never done before, be
it learning how to cycle or swim. It does not take long to teach
children most of the basic skills. Why should it be difficult for
adults to learn new skills or brave new challenges?
Myth Five: Only Self-Confident
People Can Afford to Take Risks
This again is not true. In fact,
self-confident people are more realistic about their capabilities.
They know what they can do, and what they can’t do. More
importantly, they know how to deal with failures. In contrast, people
who lack self-confidence are afraid of failure. This fear prevents
them from taking on new tasks. They constantly pine for the approval
of others, and when they don’t get it they end up losing their
self-confidence.
It’s clear that there is a lack
of understanding. Self-confidence is a state of mind. It is not
dependent upon a person’s beauty or looks. It flows from a person’s
self-belief, and this belief can be built. All that a person needs to
do is to debunk myths that self-confidence cannot be acquired or that
self-confidence is a byproduct of exceptional knowledge, skills and
luck. Once they do so, they will find it easier to acquire the same
magnetic powers that self-confident people have
Source:
Notice:
Some of the links in the post above and on this blog site are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we believe will add value to our readers.
This post or blog site contains Third Party Advertising, using online behavioral tracking technology. You can learn more about our policies regarding online behavioral advertising and your choices regarding such ads here --> Privacy Policy.
We have not received any compensation for writing this post. We have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that we have mentioned.
